Once upon a time in a land far, far away, an unhappy and unappreciated young woman meets a disguised prince, they fall in love and live happily ever after. Or how about, a single, lonely, business minded girl meets a pompous, yet, gorgeous young man they fight, hi-jinxes ensue but ultimately they too fall madly in love and get married. Yeah – we’ve all heard those stories, a MILLION times. And in recent years, quite a lot has been made about the fact that in real life prince charmings don’t exist - that fairy tales and romantic comedies are lies, which only set women up for heartache and disappointment. But, I contend that people who argue the unrealistic nature of these romances are missing the point of these stories.
Our lives are so busy that we skip over an incredible amount of information every day. We’re all looking for the bottom line - the bare essentials. Let’s be honest, if we want to know something, we’re a lot more likely to look it up on Wikipedia than actually take time to REALLY learn about a subject. And that’s not automatically a bad thing; it’s a necessary evil. We have more data at our fingertips then we could ever process, so it’s understandable that we skip over facts that seems to be unessential. Unfortunately, for romance movies and princess tales skipping the “unessential” parts makes the stories seem ridiculous.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard girlfriends lament: ‘if only life were like the movies and Prince Charming would come out of nowhere and two hours later we’d ride off into the sunset.’ Yes, that’s most likely not going to happen. And even if it did, chances are Prince Charming would turn into a toad come morning. But, what’s taken for granted, brushed aside in that unessential label of information, is that while we a watch a two hour movie, in characters’ lives it’s not JUST two hours. Often there’s years of trials and tribulations, while waiting for the right person; just like in real life.
Take Sleeping Beauty for example, the story begins with her birth and exile into hiding; then time passes and she becomes a young woman. She is wistful for something bigger than her small country life of picking berries and helping with housework. However, when she falls in love with Prince Phillip that’s not the end, it’s not as if their eyes meet and BAM happily ever after. They still have to face down familial expectations, an evil witch and her minions, spells, thorns and a fire breathing dragon just to mention a few obstacles. I’m not sure exactly how much time it’s supposed to take for all those barriers to be overcome, but, I do know that it should be understood to be more than two hours. Please don’t misconstrue what I’m saying, I’m not suggesting that an actual dragon is going to attack anyone, but, what I am saying is that every relationship has its own dragons, be they exes or annoying habits; we all have to conquer them before happily ever after can happen.
It’s important to note that happily ever after doesn’t mean that nothing bad ever happens. I think maybe that’s where people miss the point. Happily ever after simply means that even when bad things are happening – even when you’re not “happy” – you still have someone to help you overcome the new obstacles in life, the new dragons and thorns on the road.
Look at When Harry Met Sally for another example. This movie is traditionally seen as one of the greatest romantic comedies of all time; I don’t know any girl who hasn’t seen and loved this film. But we forget that Harry didn’t just met Sally and then magically things were perfect in their lives. Years go by before they even admit their feelings for one another. Individually, Harry and Sally both go through major earth shattering breakups before the pair even become friends. So yes they do get together in the end, but, honestly given all the bickering that goes on between them during the course of the movie, does anyone believe that stops as soon as their actually together. They still have problems to solve but they solve them together – THAT’S the point.
Fairy tales and chick flicks get a bad rap because after the movie ends people fast forward through all the trials couples go through to be together. Time passes and characters become more perfect in our minds. Prince Charming wasn’t perfect, I mean he spent an entire evening dancing with Cinderella, but, he doesn’t even weed out girls that don’t match Cinderella’s description. No, he goes all over the kingdom trying the slipper on every woman’s foot. That doesn’t scream perfection to me. Yet, that’s okay, because he is perfect for Cinderella, just like Harry is perfect for Sally and Phillip is perfect for Sleeping Beauty.
The point of these stories isn’t that a perfect guy pops up and then all troubles are solved. It’s that life is hard and bad things happen, however, if you’re with the person who isn’t perfect, but, is perfect for you, everything will be ok. So girls, the next time you get sad, lonely and wishing that things were like they are in the movies - remember that maybe they are. Maybe you’re just at the beginning of your story. Maybe you haven’t found your prince or fought all your dragons yet, but you will. Just don’t forget that even princes have flaws and dragons aren’t always of the fire breathing variety.
